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| 134.5 on the shit-scale. That means I should be 132.5 in the real world. I think.
I think my total today was probably around 315. Two huge peaches, pickles, a couple of blueberries and like, 1/2 c of chocolate soy milk.
Tired. | | |
| Just saw Salt. Angelina Jolie. Flawless. I spent most of the movie pining over her body. So insanely jealous. I want her facial structure. Bad. The movie itself was actually pretty good. (Not as good as Inception, go see it!) I guess the endings of Inception and Salt are kind of similar. Leaving things to the imagination.
Ughhh Victoria Beckham.
Today was good. Less than 800. I think 800 is a good starting out point from where I've been. I was still 133 this morning. Accidentally just typed "122".
God, I wish. | | |
| God damn it, I'm not talking about my heart like it's some tinfoil valentine.
Goals. Againnnn.
7/20 - 135
7/27 - 131
8/3 - 127
8/10 - 123
8/17 - 119
Tomorrow (today) I'm getting coffee at 2:30, and then hanging out with my other friend at another coffee shop at 4:30. Can't decide when I want to wake up. Maybe 8. Then I can go to the library and find some books I want to read. And turn in the cheesy young adult fiction I got. Accidents, promise. (What a lie, I'm practically a twelve year-old.)
Update on the weight when I wake up.
Edit:
133
Reading a really interesting book about the appetites of women. Some quotes I've liked so far:
"The female body is the place where this society writes its messages,"
"... We're taught to battle with our own desires from a tender age,"
I'm tired. Not sure what the total is, but I ate about a bagel too much. I think I'll still lose some tomorrow though.
Tomorrow I want to fast. Not sure yet. Maybe just Fruit. If not tomorrow, I will do it on Friday. | | |
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I haven't been doing so hot since I last updated. I don't have much time before school starts. 31 days, to be exact. Oh, that's weird. A month! Haha. I'm dumb.
I want to lose at least ten pounds by then. I thiiiink I'm 135. God, that's a huge number.
I had a peach and half a cup of soy milk with my coffee.
I'm at the beach with my family (including grandparents) right now. We leave in an hour, thank JESUS. My grandparents are so ignorant. The concept of "vegan" is so far-fetched. I've been asked if I can eat: peanut butter, tomatoes, etc. Dumb. DUMB. If we stop for lunch on the way back, I'm not hungry. Coffee for dinner tonight.
Going out to coffee tonight with my trans friend. Still not sure what he sees in this friendship. I dropped off cookies for him at his work on Friday and one of the cashiers that I knew was like, "Leave a note! Maybe... with a heart?" I laughed it off, but I don't know what impression I give off, or he gives off about this. Hrm. Very strange situation.
Getting coffee with all my friends tomorrow since everyone's back. Ultimate thinspo will be there. She's been away from her parents for a while. I wonder if she lost any weight. She said earlier in the year to me that her parents want her to gain weight. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to respond to her? This was probably in a time where she thought I would understand, but I was never underweight. Understand? Maybe. Jealous? Fucking. yeah.
edit:
Today is great! Still only the peach and soy milk so far. Avoided getting cupcakes! And now I know my trans friend only wants to be friends, which is a good thing. He does think I'm cute though, and he told me that everyone where he works thinks I'm cute/adorable. YES. Seriously, one of my main goals in life has been achieved. They don't think I'm creepy, they think I'm cute! SCORE. Anyways, getting coffee twice more today (and it's 8:30, DAMN) I'll probably get a cappuccino if my favorite barista is working.
He's kinda hot.
uggggghbye. | | |
| Shit on my faaaace. Breakfast was shitty, but I think I'm about to go on a run.
Listening to 'N Sync right now. Haaaaah. Don't judge me.
4 mini blueberry muffins (306)
1 serving steel cut oats (140)
1/4 c blueberries (20)
total
466
She looks absolutely disgusting. I miss daisy dukes Jessica Simpson. Sorry if that's brash.
On another note, it annoys me that in Katy Perry's "California Girls" she talks about wearing daisy dukes. That's a southern thing. Her song isn't called "Carolina Girls" Get the fuck out of here, you attention-hungry fake bisexual.
Update later in the day. Just realized that I'm drinking wine tonight. Maybe no dinner. We'll see. | | |
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